A Pause For Thought

June 23, 2017

We are waiting to see the consultant. It’s 45 long minutes after our appointment time and still no-one has called us. We are very tense. This is the meeting when we are told how well I’m doing on the chemotherapy. Manda goes to find someone and is told we aren’t on the list, come back in 45 minutes. We wander off to have an edgy coffee.

90 minutes late and we are ushered into a consulting room. It has three metal chairs, a sink and a bed. The oncologist bustles in with my growing file of notes in his arms and says ‘How are you, Stephen?’ I reply ‘I’m not sure’ (my nerves are in shreds and I don’t like being called Stephen). ‘In yourself’ he says. ‘I’m good’ I say.

He hands me a sheet of paper. ‘Read the top line’. I read aloud – “There has been an excellent response to treatment since the previous examination. Many of the previously noted lesions have reduced dramatically in size.” I struggle to hold my voice steady. “For example, the previously noted 5.9 cm lesion now measures 2.5 cm. There are no metastatic deposits in the liver that have not responded to treatment. No new sites of disease”

I look at Amanda. I look at the doctor. I hardly dare to believe what I have just read.

I’m getting better.

He smiles and says that I now have a choice. I can complete the chemo course – three more sessions – although the effects of the drugs will be far less dramatic. Or I can cancel the remaining treatments, have another CT scan in ten weeks time, and review my progress then. It’s about the quality of your life, he says.

In a blur of emotion, and struggling to understand what all this means, we opt for the chemo holiday. It will give my battered body a chance to recover over the summer. The cancer has not gone, but it is greatly reduced. The drugs are brutal but they are working.

Manda and I drive home in a teary haze. A heavy shadow has been lifted from over us, at least for now. A good day. A good good day.



Paul Alan Putnam
18:53 July 1, 2017

Stay strong, Steve. Those are really good news.

08:47 July 1, 2017

Sorry - had to post once more to tick the box to receive more updates. Still feeling weepy/happy at your good news. :) x

08:45 July 1, 2017

Oh Wow. That is SUCH good news, Steve. I'm so happy for you and your family. Onwards and upwards!! XXX

09:43 June 27, 2017

Wow!!!! Amazing news. So glad to read it.

Al Rogers
19:59 June 26, 2017

Absolutely brilliant Steve... does that mean we can have that coffee now?

    08:08 June 27, 2017

    Any time! x

09:48 June 26, 2017

So very happy for you! I am sure that your positivity has had something to do with it. Great news - keep on trucking!

Phil Lynch
11:50 June 25, 2017

Keep on keeping on Dude. Fuck cancer and the horse it rode in on.

08:48 June 25, 2017

So happy to read this, such great news! Much love to you and Amanda and the girls. Wishing you a restful and nourishing time in this break and wishing you continued healing, health and wellbeing and joyful times amidst all all of this xxx

Bob Owen
08:14 June 25, 2017

Brilliant! Such good news!

Sian irvine
21:34 June 24, 2017

Great news Steve, lots of love to you all , Sian and Gabriel x

Duncan Ridgley
16:12 June 24, 2017

Good news mate. Go pick some turkey tail and make tea with it every day! Google " turkey tail cures cancer" it grows wild in the UK and is 100% legal. Well done mate, I had the same feeling when I get to a rock that had not got wet on Dec 26th, 2004. It's a real moment when you realize... ain't all over :) Well done mate.

Paul White
15:44 June 24, 2017

Brilliant news, so good to read this Steve. I hope you all have a fantastic Summer!

Lauren Caisley
13:03 June 24, 2017

Yes! Ive been reading the blogs in anticipation to hear some good news. So happy to know its working, Thoughts and love to you all x

Tina Cleary
10:31 June 24, 2017

Yippeeee so happy to read this xx Love to you all.

Rob Walters
06:34 June 24, 2017

I'm so pleased for you both! You've been through so much you deserve a holiday from it!

Josephine Gray
23:16 June 23, 2017

Such lovely news Steve, so very pleased for you and Manda. xxx Jo

Iain Bain
21:29 June 23, 2017

The Dude is indeed fucking cancer - hard - this is such good news Steve....such good news...I'm smiling reading this post....

Neil Walker
20:30 June 23, 2017

Such good news Steve

Carol Belson
20:25 June 23, 2017

Such wonderful news. Lots of love to you x

fiona kaye
19:58 June 23, 2017

I am so so happy for you Steve. x

Jim Davidson
19:53 June 23, 2017

Brilliant, just brilliant news. Enjoy the summer, you've blummin' well earned it. So happy for you all

Lynne Kennedy
19:33 June 23, 2017

We don't call you The Dude for nothing! This is such wonderful news. I am so very happy for you and your family. xxxxxxx

19:20 June 23, 2017

What fantastic news Steve. We are delighted lots of love to you and Amanda xx

Nigel Eade
18:42 June 23, 2017

Great news steve, tell your body to keep up the good work..

18:05 June 23, 2017

Great blog great news! Enjoy your well earned break!!!

Ian Waldron
18:01 June 23, 2017

Hi Steve, I haven't commented before buddy. It's one of those don't know what to say moments. But I am so happy your treatment has been positive and you are in our thoughts my friend xxx

17:37 June 23, 2017

Ah Steve that's fantastic. Alex rang to say he had just read your blog and is so happy for you. Hugs & kisses to all the family xxx

17:23 June 23, 2017

Brilliant news Steve! I know how brutal the Chemo is - not from personal experience- but from seeing my brother go through it. That's fantastic that you are doing so well - really pleased for you and Your wife and family.

Kerry Morgan
17:02 June 23, 2017

Fab news Steve. So pleased.

16:20 June 23, 2017

What incredibly good news!! I can feel your relief from here. Love to you both xx

    06:24 June 24, 2017

    Great news Steve and thanks for sharing with us. Enjoy your time with a bit more "normality"

Chris Mann
16:01 June 23, 2017

Great news... long may this excellent progress continue!

15:56 June 23, 2017

Stop making me cry.

15:50 June 23, 2017

Oh, Steve! Awesome news. Enjoy your weekend, enjoy your pimms!

Linus Moran
15:42 June 23, 2017

Great news Steve. Keep fighting, I'm sure you knock the big 'C' into place. Enjoy the r&r with time out from chemo.x

15:36 June 23, 2017

In tears of joy sending hugs and kisses for you all X

Lesley Carver
15:14 June 23, 2017

Steve and Manda. That is the best news. I am so pleased that, despite the cruelty of your treatment, it is working. Still sending positive thoughts and love to you both.

    15:28 June 23, 2017

    Ah thank you Leslie, so good to hear from you. Hope all is well with you.

Neale James
15:07 June 23, 2017

Or is it Pimms. Or even Pimmmms? I'm not sure I've ever seen the bottle to read it properly sober.

    15:27 June 23, 2017

    Ha ha! Who cares? Cheers!

Neale James
15:06 June 23, 2017

THIS THIS THIS IS GOOD NEWS... and yes I do mean to shout. Steve, this is fantastic news. I only wish I were there sharing that Pims with you. x


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